CHICOPEE, Mass. (WWLP) – We’d better get out the chains and leather, America’s kinkiest couple are getting all worked up again with “Fifty Shades of Trash”. Mercifully, “Fifty Shades Freed” is the final chapter in the epic romance between two of the most plastic characters who ever led the idyllic good life.
Gazillionaire Jamie Dornan and his blushing bride Dakota Johnson prove that chains and whips are no deterrent to living a plush lifestyle. But no amount of glitz and glamour can atone for the artificial characters.
When they become too tired of each other’s awful acting, they can always fall back on their contract to keep their relationship as titillating as possible. When all else fails, why not inject a needless melodramatic twist being threatened by her demented former boss.
Anything to kill time running out the clock to this insipid nonsense. What passes for dramatic impact will have you smirking all the way to the exit.
“Fifty Shades Freed” is just as bad as parts one and two. Those were among the worst of the year they were released. “Fifty Shades Freed” seems headed in the same direction with 1 star.
This picture’s got it all….dumb script, laughable performances and characters that truly capture the essence of sheer emptiness.
1 hour 50 minutes
Jamie Dornan, Dakota Johnson, Rita Ora, Eric Johnson