CHICOPEE, Mass. (Mass Appeal) How do you keep your relationship strong once you have kids? Andrew Daubon and his wife Michaelia Daubon shared tips for keeping the spark alive even while burning the candle on both ends.
Tips for keeping the spark alive:
- Children are agents of change. Therefore, parents must prepare for their arrival.
- We can allow them to interrupt our marriage, by allowing them to steal the attention due to our spouse.
- Balance is the key. You don’t have to sacrifice the life of your marriage for the life of your kids insist on having both.
- How couples make decisions is critical with children.
- We need to maintain the privacy of our bedroom, put a lock on the door and use it.
- Encourage children to be more independent. There are things they can do quietly, while parents have their time.
- Check in emotionally with each other from time to time, go on walks, dates, trips without the kids. Look for opportunities to be together and maximize them.
- Show genuine displays affection for each other in the presence of the kids, do it often so they know your spouse is still number one.
- Connect with other couples of similar mind-set with children.
- Remember, children are transitional…they will leave one day. When they leave they shouldn’t leave a gaping hole between mommy and daddy (totally disconnected from each other), but create more space, freedom and time to enjoy each other.
If we are dreading the departure of our children, it could be a sign that we’ve been neglecting each other. It’s never too late to rediscover each other. Start today.
Parents please know that our marriage is the most influential relationship in the life of our children, its success is not only important to us but to them as well.