CHICOPEE, Mass. (Mass Appeal) – Valentine’s Day for a single guy or gal doesn’t have to be sad and lonely! Clinical psychologist Dr. Tim Hope shared tips to make this love-struck holiday easier to cope with.
Coping with being single on Valentine’s Day
1. Treat it just like any other day
If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, the important thing is to be careful not to fall into patterns of rumination, doubting your ability to love and fearing that you’ll never find someone special. Rather than dwell on being single, try to treat yourself, spend time with friends and family, do things you’d do any other day of the year. Remember that February 14 is one day out of the year just like any other, a day to further your goals and live your life, no matter what anyone else is doing. It may sound cliche, but it’s only a big deal if you let it be a big deal.
2. Remember to love yourself
On Valentine’s Day, “success” may seem to mean having a sweetheart, and not having one may seem to mean “failure.” It may seem to you that if you’re not winning you’re losing. But why is being single any “worse” on February 14 than it is on February 13 or 15? The point of love is to fulfill you, to make you happy, not to let you check off a box on the calendar. Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you’ve “failed” at love any more than being single any other time of the year does. Success may best be defined as loving yourself. So spend time appreciating yourself, what you like about yourself, your strengths, and what you do best.
3. Remember to love your loved ones
Valentine’s Day is also a fine opportunity to express your love and appreciation of your loved ones: your family, your friends, anyone who holds a special place in your heart. Take the time to think about them being in your life and how they enhance it. Send them well wishes. Do something nice for those in your life that enrich it. You’ll feel good about doing so.
4. Do something positive for yourself
And if you just can’t get your mind off of it, then try to make your thoughts constructive. If you’re upset that you haven’t got somebody, then use this occasion to reassess how you go about finding love. Maybe you will decide to go to new places to meet people. Perhaps you should make a promise to yourself to approach more people, and be more open to being approached by others. Maybe you’ll decide to get a new haircut, buy a new outfit, whatever makes you feel more desirable and confident. The point is, if you’re tired of being alone, then don’t dwell on it-determine how you can change it.