CHICOPEE, Mass. (Mass Appeal) – Some of us want to call our exes every day, while others simply want to throw the phone at them. But can former lovers remain friends? Licensed Therapist Christian Smith, from Change Happens, Inc. in Chicopee shared tips.
Rules for Staying Friends with Your Ex
BE CLEAR- Is the over-arching guiding principle
1. Is it really over?-it is pointless to talk about rules for staying friends with your ex if you are confused over your status.
2. Don’t feel obligated to be friends. Relationships can be so emotional, it’s what we love about relationships and it is also was really hard about them especially when they do not work out. Don’t remain in a “friendship” with someone out of your own guilt about how the relationship ended, that never really turns out well.
3. Accept that remaining friends with your ex may complicate future relationships. – jealousy and insecurity a commonplace in relationships the best of us deal with this so The more CLEARLY you can define your relationship with your ex the easier it will be to communicate that to someone you’re trying to build a relationship with. If it is unclear expect insecurity.
4. Be honest with yourself about what you can handle. If you genuinely have a decent relationship with someone and you can continue this without having the emotions then great but if not at least give yourself some distance and separation in time to really move on from that relationship.